Tag: Mindfulness

What Is The Difference Between A Hobby And A Calling

What’s the difference between a hobby and a calling?

Maybe it’s money.

Or success.

Maybe it’s talent.

I don’t think it’s any of those things because I think you can have all of them with either a hobby or a calling.

A hobby is something you enjoy.

Something you do in your spare time.

Something you make time for when you feel like it.

That’s a good thing.

We all need hobbies.

I have plenty of them myself.

But when does a hobby become something more?

Maybe it’s when it stops fitting into your life…

…and your life begins making room for it.

A hobby stops being just something you do when it slowly becomes part of who you are.

Being a dad isn’t a hobby because I don’t just do fatherhood.

I am a father.

Being a husband isn’t something I check off a list each day.

It’s part of my identity.

And somewhere along the way, writing has begun to feel less like something I do and more like someone I am becoming.

That doesn’t have anything to do with money.

Or readers.

Or whether anyone notices.

It has everything to do with the fact that when I neglect it, something about the day feels unfinished.

I don’t think a calling arrives with some dramatic moment of clarity.

I think we recognize it in hindsight.

One day we simply look back and realize this thing has quietly become an essential part of our lives.

Without really noticing, we began choosing it over other things.

Making time for it.

Returning to it.

Protecting it.

Not because we had to.

Because it had become part of us.

Maybe writing has become more of a calling than a hobby for me.

But maybe yours isn’t writing.

Maybe it’s teaching.

Pastoring.

Coaching.

Building.

Raising your children.

Serving your community.

Healing people.

Creating beautiful things.

The form your calling takes isn’t what matters.

The relationship you’ve built with it is.

So if you’re wondering what your calling is…

Stop asking,

“What do I love to do?”

Instead ask,

“What keeps calling me back?”

What won’t you let go of?

What keeps finding its way back into your life, even after you’ve failed…

…even after you’ve become discouraged…

…even after life has become too busy?

Because maybe the difference between a hobby and a calling isn’t simply what you enjoy.

Maybe it’s what you refuse to let go of.

And maybe that’s because, somewhere along the way…

…it stopped being something you did.

It became part of who you are.

Continue the Journey

If this article resonated with you, here are a few more reflections that continue the conversation:

  • Day One — Every meaningful calling begins with the decision to begin, even before you know where the journey will lead.
  • Kids Are Born Delusional — Before we can discover what we’re called to do, we have to believe extraordinary things are still possible.
  • The Decision Was Already Made — The pursuits that shape our lives are rarely built through inspiration alone. They are built through repeated commitment.
  • A Life, Not a Collection of Parts — The things that matter most eventually stop being separate parts of our lives and become woven into the person we’re becoming.

Every Day Is Made Of Small Rooms

Let’s start off with a question.

I want you to go back to yesterday and think about what you did. Not what you accomplished. Not what happened to you. Not who you talked to.

No, I want you to think about how many rooms you walked in and out of.

How many doors did you open and close?

The bedroom. The bathroom. The living room. The kitchen. The garage. Your car. The office. A conference room. Your kid’s classroom. The gym.

You were in a lot of rooms yesterday.

You probably had to stop and really think about them to remember them all.

We move through countless rooms every day and rarely notice them.

When you look back on your life, you probably think of the places where everything changed. The wedding altar. The graduation stage. The hospital room where your children were born. Those places matter because life-changing events happened there.

But you’ve only visited those places a handful of times—sometimes only once.

Most of our lives happen somewhere much less remarkable.

They happen in the ordinary rooms we enter every day.

The dining room isn’t just where you eat. It’s where your family gathers to talk about the day.

The office isn’t just where you work. It’s where you serve so you can provide for the people you love.

The classroom isn’t just where you learn. It’s where curiosity grows.

The gym isn’t just where the weights are kept. It’s where you keep promises to yourself and stay healthy for the people counting on you.

Every room we enter has a purpose.

But every room also asks something of us.

We talked before about how hallways aren’t meant to be homes—that eventually you have to turn the doorknob and step into the room if you want to experience life.

But before you cross that threshold, something else happens.

The room quietly asks a question.

Who are you while you’re in here?

Who are you when you’re sitting at the dining room table with your kids?

Who are you when you’re coaching their baseball team or taking them to the doctor?

Who are you when your boss needs something from you and you already have a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk?

Who are you when you finally sit down next to your spouse after a long day?

It’s still you in every one of those rooms.

But each room asks for a different part of you.

Here’s where we run into trouble.

Sometimes we leave one room without ever really leaving it.

We bring work home with us—not physically, but emotionally.

We bring the frustration from work to the dinner table.

We bring the exhaustion from parenting into the office.

We bring the regret from binge eating into the gym and wonder why we can’t give our best effort.

The room changed.

We didn’t.

We failed to become the version of ourselves that the new room needed.

And because of that, we become unbalanced. Frustrated. Disconnected.

Our identity—and the way other people experience us—isn’t defined by life’s biggest decisions.

It’s defined by how we show up in the room.

How we walk into the office.

How we walk through the front door after work.

How we speak to our spouse.

How we listen to our children.

How we train when nobody is watching.

Every room becomes another opportunity to decide who we’re going to be.

Tomorrow you’ll probably walk through many of the same doors you walked through today.

The bedroom.

The kitchen.

The office.

The garage.

The living room.

The gym.

The rooms won’t be different.

But you can be.

Because a meaningful life isn’t built only in extraordinary places or extraordinary moments.

It’s built one ordinary room at a time.

Continue the Journey

If this article resonated with you, here are a few more reflections that explore the same ideas from different perspectives:

The Story Behind Tomorrow

Do you have something that starts tomorrow?

Something you’ve been looking forward to. Something that fills you with the same nervous excitement you used to feel on Christmas Eve, the night before your birthday, or the day before leaving on a family vacation.

Whatever begins tomorrow has the potential to change your life.

Months from now, if you stay committed, people might notice the weight you’ve lost. They might see a stronger physique, a finished book, a thriving business, or a website that didn’t exist before. Maybe those are just the things I hope to see in my own life, but whatever your “tomorrow” is, people may one day look at it and say, “That’s where it all began.”

But they’ll be wrong.

Tomorrow isn’t really the beginning.

When does change actually begin?

It’s not with the first workout or the first pound lost on the scale. It’s not when you finish the first chapter or publish your first article online.

Those might be the first signs of change.

But change starts in the invisible moments.

Think back to the first time you admitted something needed to change. When you wondered whether you really had the strength to commit to something new. When you looked at your schedule, counted the cost, said goodbye to certain habits, quietly hoped this time would be different, or finally found the courage to ask for help.

No one thinks of these as the moments where change began.

But they’re the reason tomorrow exists.

We all make the same mistake.

We celebrate the first visible milestone as the start of something new, when those milestones are really just evidence of work that has already been happening in the shadows. The mental work. The preparation. The research. The internal struggle between the anxiety of trying something new and the comfort of remaining the same.

We celebrate the harvest.

We rarely celebrate the planting.

That’s because people don’t see the author before they see the book. They don’t see the business before the doors open. They don’t see the graduate before the diploma or the marathon runner before mile one. Every visible achievement is the product of invisible work.

So tomorrow you may be starting something new. It may be Day One for you.

People may think that’s where your journey begins.

But they’re only seeing the first visible page…

…of a book you’ve already been writing.

The moments that change our lives are rarely the ones everyone notices. They’re the quiet decisions made in solitude and silence. The commitment you made to yourself while sitting alone. The preparations you made when no one was watching. The choice you made before you even knew whether you could change.

Tomorrow may be the first thing people see.

But it isn’t where your story started.

Continue the Journey

If this idea resonated with you, here are a few more articles that continue the conversation:

  • Day One — Every meaningful journey begins with the decision to start, even when the path ahead is uncertain.
  • The Reset Never Came — Why waiting for the perfect time to begin often becomes the biggest obstacle to making progress.
  • Winning the Wrong Argument — The internal conversations that convince us to delay the very life we’re trying to build.
  • I Finally Stopped Waiting to Feel Motivated — Lasting change doesn’t begin when motivation arrives; it begins when we choose to act anyway.

Winning The Wrong Argument

Every time I make a decision that I later wish I hadn’t, there is a conversation first.

It’s never out loud. It’s that everlasting debate that goes on inside my head, like the old cartoons where the devil sits on one shoulder and the angel on the other.

The angel says, “Let’s go work out. Stick to the diet. Work on the book.”

The devil is quick to respond.

“I’m tired.”

“I’ll start tomorrow.”

“Just one more snack.”

“You’ve had a long day.”

“You deserve a break.”

And before long, the devil has won the argument before the angel even saw it coming.

The interesting thing is that the devil never tries to convince me my goals aren’t important. He simply convinces me that today should be the exception. That one workout won’t matter. That one evening without writing won’t make a difference. That tomorrow will somehow be easier than today.

We imagine discipline as something silent. As determination. As strength. As if it never questions itself.

But discipline has a voice too.

Every day, it’s an argument between comfort and growth; an unending debate between two versions of ourselves.

The issue is that the antagonizing argument isn’t wrong.

We are tired.

We are overly stressed.

We are busy.

We’ve had a long day.

With everything going on, we are overwhelmed.

The argument isn’t irrational. It’s real.

And that’s exactly why it’s so convincing.

That’s why the devil is usually the favorite in the debate.

Because the argument makes perfect sense.

But when the argument that makes the most sense in the moment wins—when tiredness and overwhelm overcome extra effort—the win is actually a loss.

You have won the right to sit in your chair and watch television.

To skip the workout.

To leave another chapter unwritten.

To put things off until Monday.

You won the argument.

The problem is that life doesn’t keep score by arguments won.

It keeps score by actions taken.

The workout doesn’t happen because your excuse was convincing.

The book doesn’t gain another chapter because you made a good case for waiting.

The life you want isn’t built by the reasons you had for delaying it.

It’s built by what you actually did.

You won the argument…

But you lost the war.

For years I put the diet off until Monday, watched television instead of writing, searched for perfection instead of progress, and waited for inspiration and motivation to drive my efforts.

And I had an argument for myself every single time.

An explanation that made complete sense.

One that I accepted as good enough.

As truth.

Years later, I was still stuck in that endless loop.

The thing is, the devil on your shoulder never really goes away.

That conversation happens every day, with every decision and every choice.

The difference isn’t that the voice disappears.

The difference is that it no longer gets the final vote.

Because once you recognize the argument for what it is, you have a choice. You can keep winning the same debate you’ve won a hundred times before, or you can finally let the other voice finish speaking.

Because the most dangerous arguments aren’t the ones we lose.

They’re the ones we win while arguing against the life we actually wanted.

So be careful which arguments you win.

Some victories cost far more than they’re worth.

Continue the Journey

If this article resonated with you, you may also enjoy:

The System Isn’t Sacred

Yesterday I had to admit something I didn’t want to.

The Young Napoleon Project wasn’t going to become the project I had spent the last ten years imagining.

That was surprisingly hard to accept.

Not because the project was failing.

But because the picture I had carried in my head for a decade wasn’t real anymore.

For years I had envisioned every detail of this project. I had planned the action tracking, the scoreboards, the data collection, the documentation, and even redundancies for the redundancies because I wanted to capture everything. I wanted complete control over the process.

Then I finally launched the project.

And after six weeks of actually living it, I realized something I never could have learned while planning it.

It was too much.

Not because I wasn’t willing to work hard.

Because I had built a system that demanded so much attention that it was beginning to compete with the very life it was supposed to support.

Somewhere along the way, I realized I was spending so much time documenting the project…

that I wasn’t actually living it.

So I started removing things.

I eliminated redundant tracking.

I simplified my systems.

I stopped documenting the same information in multiple places.

Not because those things were bad ideas.

Because they were getting in the way of the things that mattered most.

They were taking time away from my writing.

They were taking time away from the fitness goals I had allowed to slip.

They were taking time away from being present with my family.

Making those changes should have been easy.

Instead, it felt like I was giving something up.

The strange thing about plans is that after we’ve lived with them long enough, they stop feeling like plans.

They start feeling like promises.

We convince ourselves that success isn’t simply reaching the destination.

Success becomes following the exact route we imagined.

That’s where we get ourselves into trouble.

We become so committed to the process that we forget why we created it in the first place.

Businesses can’t cling to outdated processes simply because they’re familiar.

Parents constantly adjust routines as their children grow.

Travel plans change.

Careers change.

Life changes.

The people who continue moving forward aren’t the ones who never change their plans.

They’re the ones willing to change them when reality demands it.

For a while, I thought abandoning parts of my original plan meant admitting I had been wrong.

Now I think the opposite.

Those ten years weren’t wasted.

They gave me the vision.

But once the project became real, reality became a better teacher than imagination.

The system was never the project.

The scoreboards weren’t the project.

The trackers weren’t the project.

The spreadsheets weren’t the project.

Those things were simply tools meant to help me become the person I wanted to become.

And when the tools stopped serving that purpose…

They needed to change.

Six weeks ago I started this project with what I believed was the perfect blueprint.

Less than two months later, much of that blueprint no longer exists.

The dream does.

I chose the project over the systems.

I chose writing over documenting.

I chose to make room for my health instead of protecting routines that were no longer helping me.

For ten years I thought protecting the blueprint meant protecting the dream.

I finally realized they aren’t the same thing.

The blueprint can change.

The dream doesn’t have to.

Continue the Journey:

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like:

A Life, Not a Collection of Parts

It’s easy to divide life into separate categories—work, family, health, hobbies—but the most fulfilling life isn’t built by keeping those pieces apart. It’s built by learning how they fit together.

I Finally Stopped Waiting to Feel Motivated

Waiting for motivation kept me standing still for years. Progress finally began when I stopped chasing the perfect feeling and simply started doing the work.

The Coach Can’t Do the Work

The right tools, the right systems, and the right coach can all help you move forward. But in the end, no one else can do the work that only you can do.

The Coach Can’t Do The Work

I am going to be starting a personal training program in the next week or so, and yesterday I had my first call with my trainer. Being honest, I was nervous. I had never worked with a personal trainer before, but the conversation was great and also a little unexpected. Instead of just talking about exercises and nutrition, we talked about my goals, the habits I want to build, the mental aspect of getting healthier, my history with weight, and what I hope to achieve in the future.

As exciting as the call was, and as motivated as I am to work with this trainer, I’m still the one who has to put in the work. That’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life when it comes to my health.

The trainer can write my workouts, answer my questions, help keep me accountable, and encourage me when I’m frustrated. But he can’t lift the weights for me. He can’t choose what I eat every day. He can’t walk the steps I need to walk. He can’t say no to the junk food or turn off the TV so I can go work out. He can be a guide, but I still have to choose to follow.

I’ve done it before. In what feels like a past life, I lost 170 pounds. I was determined. I was resilient. Then I wasn’t. Some of the weight came back, and with it came frustration and disappointment.

Since then, I’ve read books about motivation and discipline. I’ve listened to podcasts. I’ve watched countless videos. I know what it takes to get back to where I want to be.

Information has never been the problem.

Turning that information into action has.

Often we think success comes from the tools we use along the way. The right pen or computer will help us write more. The right planner will keep us organized. The right app will keep us on task. Maybe the right coach will finally help us reach our goals.

Those things absolutely help.

They make the path clearer.

But they can’t walk it for us.

This project has never been about finally discovering the secret that erased years of failure. There isn’t one.

The progress I’ve made has come from doing the work day after day. From refusing to quit when things got hard. From not accepting defeat when I fell behind. From allowing the process to evolve instead of abandoning it because I was too stubborn to change.

The tools I’ve chosen have helped me get this far, but they aren’t the reason I’m here.

This trainer will be no different.

He gets to be on my team. He gets to challenge me, encourage me, and help me decide what I need to do to reach my goals.

But I still have to do the work.

The tools you use can help you write. They can help you stay organized. They can help you stay on task.

But if you don’t do the work, the tools can’t do it for you.

A coach, a trainer, or an accountability partner can all cheer you on. They can believe in you, even on the days you don’t believe in yourself.

But when it’s time to do the work…

You’re the one who has to do it.

And when you do, you’ll have something no one can ever take away from you:

The satisfaction of knowing you earned it.

Continue the Journey:

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like:

  • I Finally Stopped Waiting to Feel Motivated
    Motivation may get you started, but lasting change comes from taking action even when you don’t feel like it.
  • Stay in the Game
    Progress belongs to those who refuse to quit. Once you’ve committed to the journey, the work still has to be done one day at a time.
  • Every Opportunity Begins With Risk
    Hiring a coach, starting a new program, or chasing a goal all begin with uncertainty. The next step is doing the work that turns opportunity into progress.

Stay In The Game

Last night was poker night with the Papa Pandas. Ten of us showed up for a Texas Hold ‘Em tournament. On the opening hand I made two pair and won a large pot. Then I didn’t win another hand for a very long time.

Eventually the table had dwindled down to four players, and my dwindling stack was the smallest of them all. If you had taken a poll around the table, I probably wouldn’t have been the favorite to come out on top.

But I stayed patient. I played my game, bet when I thought the odds were in my favor, and took it one hand at a time. I eliminated one player, then another, and eventually it was just me and the chip leader. I won a couple of smaller pots to even things up before catching an outside straight on the river and moving all in. He called with two pair, and I walked away the winner.

I didn’t win because I played every hand perfectly. I folded hands that would have become winners and played a few that I probably shouldn’t have. I won because I stayed patient and stayed in the game. The cards certainly helped, but they couldn’t have helped me if I had already given up.

It made me wonder about all the other things I’ve quit simply because I got behind. How many times have I stopped writing because the words wouldn’t come? Quit exercising because the scale didn’t move? Walked away from a sport because I wasn’t getting playing time? Given up because things simply became too hard? Not because I was destined to fail, but because success didn’t seem likely, and I mistook where I was for where I was going to finish.

Yesterday I wrote that seizing opportunity requires us to accept uncertainty before we can enjoy the reward. Today I’m realizing that’s only half the story.

Sometimes taking the risk isn’t enough. Sometimes the reward only comes because we stay around long enough for it to arrive.

If you quit trying to lose weight every time the scale goes up or refuses to move, you’ll never reach your goal.

If you abandon every project because the results aren’t immediate, you’ll never finish anything meaningful.

If you give up on every dream because reality doesn’t match the picture in your head, you’ll never become the person you hoped to be.

It won’t be because you weren’t talented enough or capable of working hard enough. It’ll be because you didn’t give yourself—or your dream—the time it needed.

Last night I happened to win the poker tournament. But that’s not what I’ll remember.

I’ll remember looking down at the smallest stack at the table and realizing that as long as I still had chips in front of me, the story wasn’t over.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is stay in the game long enough to find out how the story ends.

Continue the Journey:

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like:

Overthink The Good Stuff

Guess what?

I overthink things.

I know… you’re shocked.

If you read my post about Why The Young Napoleon Project then you know I share a trait with General George B. McClellan: we were both overthinkers and overplanners.

My anxiety?

Well… that doesn’t exactly help either.

I can get lost overthinking the smallest things.

Did I say the wrong thing?

Should I have sent that text?

Did I make the right decision?

Then I can spend hours thinking about everything that might be waiting for me tomorrow.

I imagine I’m not alone.

Like so many people, I tend to obsess over tiny moments that probably don’t mean nearly as much as I convince myself they do.

You know what’s sad, though?

We rarely overthink the good stuff.

I don’t have Brooks’ and Joseph’s laughter replaying on a loop in my head.

I don’t constantly revisit the quiet moments Jillian and I share together.

I don’t spend hours remembering the funny things Joseph says or the way he says them.

Those moments come into my life…

And then they’re gone.

Meanwhile, anxiety, fear, and worry seem to live in my head rent-free.

Some of that is chemistry.

Some of it is simply the way our brains are wired.

While researching this, I came across an article in Psychology Today explaining why our brains naturally gravitate toward negative thinking. It pointed out that our minds are wired to pay more attention to potential threats than positive experiences—a survival instinct that made a lot of sense thousands of years ago, but one that can easily leave us replaying our worst moments while overlooking our best ones.

Our minds are trying to protect us.

They’re scanning for danger.

Preparing us for tomorrow’s meeting.

The unexpected bill.

The difficult conversation.

Sometimes they’re trying to teach us something.

“Remember that mistake you made yesterday? Think about it for the next three hours so you never make it again.”

And honestly…

There’s some value in that.

We should learn from our mistakes.

We should approach unfamiliar situations with healthy caution.

Sometimes there really is a good reason to worry about something on tomorrow’s calendar.

But left unchecked, our minds can convince us that our worst moments deserve the most attention.

What if we trained our minds a little differently?

What if we intentionally spent time replaying the good moments instead?

Not to ignore our problems.

Not to pretend life is perfect.

But because those moments deserve our attention too.

In my reading, I came across another article from Verywell Mind about learning to savor positive moments. One of the things that stood out to me was the reminder that joy often doesn’t require bigger experiences—it requires paying closer attention to the ones we’re already having. The more intentional we are about noticing and lingering in those moments, the more likely we are to remember them later.

They deserve to be appreciated.

They deserve to be remembered.

What if you spent just five minutes every day thinking about your kids laughing?

The love you share with your spouse.

Good news you recently received.

The ordinary moments when, for just a little while, nothing was wrong.

What would happen?

Would your outlook change?

Would you feel a little lighter?

Would your day be just a little better?

I think it might.

The moments we replay become the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.

If we come home from work and only replay everything that frustrated us, how can we expect the rest of our evening not to be colored by that frustration? It’s also why I wrote Don’t Let Your Storm Get Your Kids Wet. The stories we replay don’t always stay inside our own heads—they often shape how we show up for the people we love.

If we replay only our failures, eventually we’ll begin believing we’re failures.

If we spend all night overthinking tomorrow’s problems, we’ll wake up already convinced it’s going to be a bad day.

And in doing so, we’ll miss the moments that could have made it a good one.

But what if we intentionally replayed moments of joy instead?

What if we celebrated the small wins?

What if we got excited about what still lies ahead?

What if we filled our minds with the memories that remind us life is good, even when it isn’t perfect?

When I look back on this project, I realize I’ve spent a lot of time writing about ordinary moments instead of extraordinary ones. It’s something I’ve explored before in Why Ordinary Days Matter More Than Big Moments. The memories that shape our lives usually aren’t the spectacular ones—they’re the ordinary moments we almost overlook.

Walks around the neighborhood.

Playing catch.

Reading bedtime stories.

Quiet evenings with Jillian.

Those moments are my life.

Some days are harder than others.

Some stories are painful.

But if I only focused on those moments, I’d completely miss the ones that make this life so beautiful.

So yes…

Tomorrow I’ll probably wake up and still be an overthinker.

That isn’t changing overnight.

I’m forty-one years old.

If it were that easy, it probably would have happened by now.

I’ll probably replay some small mistake I made today.

I’ll probably worry about something waiting for me tomorrow.

But I’m also going to try to be more intentional about replaying the good stuff.

The laughter.

The walks with my boys.

The quiet moments with Jillian.

The conversations I’ll someday wish I could have one more time.

Because those moments are the best part of my life.

And if I’m going to overthink anything…

I’d rather it be the good stuff.

Continue the Journey:

Further Reading:

Psychology Today — “3 Reasons Why Your Brain Loves Negative Thinking”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202512/3-reasons-why-your-brain-loves-negative-thinking/amp

Verywell Mind — “How to Savor the Moment”

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-savor-the-moment-3144633