Tag: Dad

Kids Are Born Delusional

You were a kid once.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Can you even remember?

Over the last couple of years, my son has wanted to be a baseball player, a police officer, a drag racer, and who knows what else.

And every time he tells me what he wants to be, there isn’t a hint of doubt in his voice.

He’s certain.

Until he’s certain about something else.

Kids don’t hedge their bets.

They don’t apologize for dreaming.

They’re all in.

Somewhere, a long time ago, we were those kids too.

We dreamed with certainty.

We had no doubts.

No reservations.

We were going to be cowboys even though we’d never ridden a horse.

We were going to be astronauts with no understanding of outer space.

We were going to be lawyers before we knew what the law even was.

And then something changed.

But when?

It’s not like we can point to one morning and say,

“That was the day I decided to be more realistic.”

“That was the day I lowered my expectations for my own life.”

It happened slowly.

Quietly.

Almost invisibly.

Growing up teaches us many valuable lessons.

We learn how to read.

We learn math.

We learn responsibility.

We learn that we won’t always win.

We learn how to work hard.

We learn that life is full of compromise.

Those lessons matter because they shape the people we’re becoming.

But somewhere along the way, we learn something else.

We learn limits.

Not physical limits.

Imagined ones.

The people who teach us those limits usually aren’t trying to hurt us.

They’re parents trying to protect us.

Teachers trying to prepare us for the real world.

Friends who don’t want to be left behind.

Sometimes those limits come from failure.

Embarrassment.

Humiliation.

Loss.

Comparison.

None of them are usually malicious.

They’re simply born from experience.

But together they begin whispering the same message:

People like you don’t do things like that.

That’s the real tragedy.

It isn’t that children dream too big.

It’s that many adults stop dreaming before they ever discover what they might have been capable of.

Dreams go from certainty…

…to unlikely…

…to impossible.

Maybe growing up shouldn’t mean believing in ourselves less.

Maybe it should simply mean understanding that extraordinary dreams require extraordinary effort.

Children already have the belief.

Adults have the discipline.

Imagine what could happen if we managed to keep both.

We smile when children tell us what they want to be when they grow up.

Not because it’s funny.

But because we quietly doubt it’s possible.

Maybe instead of smiling, we should ask ourselves a harder question.

What did you once believe you were going to become…

…before someone convinced you otherwise?

And maybe the next time a child tells you they’re going to change the world…

Don’t be the first person to teach them their limits.

Because maybe kids aren’t born delusional.

Maybe they’re simply the last version of ourselves before the world convinces us to dream smaller.

Continue the Journey

If this article resonated with you, here are a few more reflections that continue the conversation:

Every Day Is Made Of Small Rooms

Let’s start off with a question.

I want you to go back to yesterday and think about what you did. Not what you accomplished. Not what happened to you. Not who you talked to.

No, I want you to think about how many rooms you walked in and out of.

How many doors did you open and close?

The bedroom. The bathroom. The living room. The kitchen. The garage. Your car. The office. A conference room. Your kid’s classroom. The gym.

You were in a lot of rooms yesterday.

You probably had to stop and really think about them to remember them all.

We move through countless rooms every day and rarely notice them.

When you look back on your life, you probably think of the places where everything changed. The wedding altar. The graduation stage. The hospital room where your children were born. Those places matter because life-changing events happened there.

But you’ve only visited those places a handful of times—sometimes only once.

Most of our lives happen somewhere much less remarkable.

They happen in the ordinary rooms we enter every day.

The dining room isn’t just where you eat. It’s where your family gathers to talk about the day.

The office isn’t just where you work. It’s where you serve so you can provide for the people you love.

The classroom isn’t just where you learn. It’s where curiosity grows.

The gym isn’t just where the weights are kept. It’s where you keep promises to yourself and stay healthy for the people counting on you.

Every room we enter has a purpose.

But every room also asks something of us.

We talked before about how hallways aren’t meant to be homes—that eventually you have to turn the doorknob and step into the room if you want to experience life.

But before you cross that threshold, something else happens.

The room quietly asks a question.

Who are you while you’re in here?

Who are you when you’re sitting at the dining room table with your kids?

Who are you when you’re coaching their baseball team or taking them to the doctor?

Who are you when your boss needs something from you and you already have a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk?

Who are you when you finally sit down next to your spouse after a long day?

It’s still you in every one of those rooms.

But each room asks for a different part of you.

Here’s where we run into trouble.

Sometimes we leave one room without ever really leaving it.

We bring work home with us—not physically, but emotionally.

We bring the frustration from work to the dinner table.

We bring the exhaustion from parenting into the office.

We bring the regret from binge eating into the gym and wonder why we can’t give our best effort.

The room changed.

We didn’t.

We failed to become the version of ourselves that the new room needed.

And because of that, we become unbalanced. Frustrated. Disconnected.

Our identity—and the way other people experience us—isn’t defined by life’s biggest decisions.

It’s defined by how we show up in the room.

How we walk into the office.

How we walk through the front door after work.

How we speak to our spouse.

How we listen to our children.

How we train when nobody is watching.

Every room becomes another opportunity to decide who we’re going to be.

Tomorrow you’ll probably walk through many of the same doors you walked through today.

The bedroom.

The kitchen.

The office.

The garage.

The living room.

The gym.

The rooms won’t be different.

But you can be.

Because a meaningful life isn’t built only in extraordinary places or extraordinary moments.

It’s built one ordinary room at a time.

Continue the Journey

If this article resonated with you, here are a few more reflections that explore the same ideas from different perspectives:

Just The Two Of Us

I recently had an unexpected day where it was just Brooks and me.

Those days are becoming rare. Usually our days involve both boys, or we’re all doing something together as a family. But not this time.

Brooks is six and trying to figure out who he is while soaking up influences from television, his cousins, and his friends. Listening can be a challenge. So can attitude sometimes. Before we started our day together, we talked about that. I didn’t want this opportunity for one-on-one time to become another day of correcting behavior. I wanted us to simply enjoy being together.

We started by taking Joseph to school, and then it was just the two of us.

We grabbed breakfast at our favorite coffee shop where Brooks enjoyed a muffin and a smoothie while we talked. We took pictures together and, at his request, had AI turn us into different characters. Then we headed to the store to pick out a birthday present for one of his friends. Of course Brooks left with something too—a World Cup stuffed animal. I’m still a bit of a pushover when it comes to things like that.

The rest of the day looked pretty ordinary.

We stopped for gas.

Went to the bank.

Grabbed lunch.

Delivered an envelope full of Pokémon cards that Brooks had addressed himself to his cousins.

Stopped at the grocery store.

Finished the afternoon at the library where his kindergarten class met up to watch a presentation about the science of bubbles.

From the outside, it probably looked like I was just running errands.

And maybe I was.

But it was also something else.

It wasn’t a grand adventure.

We didn’t do anything extraordinary.

We didn’t turn every stop into a game or every errand into a treasure hunt.

We simply spent the day together.

That opportunity doesn’t come around nearly as often as it used to.

Sure, Brooks and I still watch soccer together, play in the backyard, go to baseball practice, and take family walks around the neighborhood. But those moments usually include Jillian, Joseph, teammates, or friends.

This day was different.

It was just the two of us.

I honestly couldn’t tell you everything we talked about.

What I remember is that we never stopped talking.

There were ridiculous sing-alongs in the car while Brooks tried to decide what his next walk-up song should be.

We wrestled.

We laughed.

We joked.

And somewhere between the coffee shop, the grocery store, and the library, I realized something.

The older Brooks gets, the more I realize that being a father is constantly changing.

Some days he needs comfort.

Some days he needs correction.

Some days he needs someone to laugh with.

Some days he needs someone willing to say no.

The difficult part is figuring out which father he needs today.

Part of me wants him to stay my little buddy forever.

But I know that’s never been my job.

My job isn’t to keep him six years old.

My job is to help him become the man he’s meant to be.

We don’t get to decide who our children become.

We get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to walk beside them while they figure that out for themselves.

We don’t get to make their mistakes.

But we can help them pick up the pieces afterward.

We don’t get to make their decisions.

But we can prepare them to make good ones.

We don’t get to walk every road for them.

But for a little while…

We get to walk beside them.

Brooks is six today.

One day he’ll be sixteen.

Then twenty-six.

There will come a time when an entire day with Dad isn’t something that simply happens because schedules lined up.

Those days become fewer.

That’s why this day mattered.

Not because of the errands.

Not because of the grocery store.

Not because of the bubble show.

Because for one ordinary day…

It was…

Just the two of us.

Continue the Journey:

If this story resonated with you, here are a few more reflections on fatherhood, growing up, and the moments that quietly shape the relationships we have with our children.

While They Still Ask

There will come a day when your children stop asking you to play one more game, read one more story, or come outside with them. Until then, those simple invitations are some of the greatest gifts a parent can receive.

A Son and a Father

The relationship between a father and his son is never static. As our children grow, our role shifts from protector, to teacher, to coach, to mentor—all while learning to let them become who they were meant to be.

When Errands Turn Into an Adventure

Sometimes the most memorable days aren’t vacations or elaborate plans. They’re ordinary trips to the coffee shop, the grocery store, or the bank that become unforgettable because of the person standing beside us.

It Was Just Tuesday

Yesterday I headed home from work, got changed, and spent some time with the boys while Jillian made dinner. We sat around the table together, and afterward I took the boys for a walk around the neighborhood and through the baseball fields. We ran into some friends, stopped to visit for a while, and then headed home to get the kids ready for bed. After they were asleep, Jillian and I laid down together for a while before getting up to finish a few things around the house, watch a show together, and call it a night.

It was Tuesday.

No special occasion.

No big event on the calendar.

Just a normal evening at home with my family.

Today I found myself thinking about the version of me that existed before I got married and had kids.

What did he think life would look like?

What was he chasing?

If I’m honest, I don’t think he could have imagined this.

Back then I probably pictured coming home from work, grabbing something to eat on the way, sitting on the couch watching a Padres game with friends, and calling it a good night. I don’t think I could have imagined being married to a woman I could only have dreamed about, raising two incredible boys, eating dinner around the family table, taking evening walks through the neighborhood I grew up in, building the blog I had always wanted to write, or working every day toward becoming healthier.

If someone had described that life to me back then, I’m not sure I would have believed it was possible.

We spend so much time dreaming about promotions, bigger houses, vacations, accomplishments, and the future that we overlook another kind of dream entirely.

The quiet ones.

The dreams that don’t arrive with some grand announcement.

They simply become normal.

Family dinners.

Bedtime stories.

Evening walks.

A spouse asking how your day was.

One day you wake up and realize those moments have become so routine that you barely notice them anymore.

But years earlier…

They were the life you were hoping to build.

We spend so much of our lives looking ahead, chasing the next goal, the next milestone, the next achievement—things we can celebrate and tell people about.

Meanwhile, the dreams that matter most are sitting across the dinner table telling you about their day.

This blog was always a dream of mine.

For years I imagined writing about adventures, milestones, and extraordinary moments.

I never imagined I’d be writing about an uneventful Tuesday.

But maybe that’s because I finally understand what I was really chasing.

It wasn’t excitement.

It wasn’t recognition.

It wasn’t some picture-perfect future.

It was this.

Dinner around the table.

A walk with my boys.

Talking with neighbors.

Watching a show with my wife before bed.

Years ago I spent a lot of time wondering what my life might look like someday.

Today I know.

It looks a lot like Tuesday.

Continue the Journey:

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The Gift of Being Nearby

Some of the most meaningful moments with the people we love don’t happen because we planned them. They happen because we’re close enough to simply be there when life unfolds.

Why Ordinary Days Matter More Than Big Moments

Life is rarely defined by vacations, birthdays, or major milestones. More often, it’s shaped by the quiet routines and everyday moments that slowly become our most treasured memories.

A Life, Not a Collection of Parts

The most fulfilling life isn’t one where work, family, health, and personal goals compete for attention. It’s one where those parts begin working together to create something greater than any one of them could alone.

A Masterpiece And A Work In Progress

It feels like just yesterday that we brought Brooks home from the hospital. It was the beginning of the pandemic, and for weeks it was just Jillian, me, and this tiny little boy sitting in our living room trying to figure out how to be parents. We had no idea what we were doing.

That was more than six years ago.

Today I took Brooks up to the fields for hitting practice as he prepares for his first season of Rookies in Little League. At the same time, Joseph took his first swimming lesson in the next level class. Somewhere along the way, those tiny babies became little boys.

It’s amazing how quickly children change.

One day you’re celebrating their first steps.

Before long they’re running laps around the house.

One day you’re reading bedtime stories.

Before long they’re reading them back to you.

Somehow, the things that once felt impossible quietly become ordinary.

And now, when I look at my boys, I don’t just see who they once were or who they are today. I also see who they are becoming.

I picture Brooks growing up on the baseball field, becoming more confident, making lifelong friends, and discovering the man he’ll one day become.

I picture Joseph graduating from preschool, walking into elementary school, trying new sports, and slowly finding his own interests and personality.

But we’re not there yet.

Right now, I’m trying to enjoy the season we’re in and let the future wait until we get there.

The other day I came across a quote that hasn’t left my mind:

“You can be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.”

If I had to guess, I’d say that most people read that quote and immediately think about themselves. They think about who they are today while striving to become someone even better.

That isn’t where my mind went.

I immediately thought about Brooks and Joseph.

They make mistakes.

They get frustrated.

They fall down.

They learn.

They grow.

They test boundaries.

They surprise me.

They’re works in progress.

But when I look at them, I don’t see unfinished people.

I see masterpieces.

There are hard days and wonderful days. There are moments that require correction and moments that deserve celebration. There are times when they test every ounce of my patience and other times when they remind me exactly what matters most.

None of those moments change how I see them.

They are, and always will be, my masterpieces.

But if that’s true about my kids…

Why can’t it also be true about me?

Why am I so much harder on myself than I am on them?

Why do I extend grace so freely to my children but withhold it from myself?

Why can’t I believe that I can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time?

For me, that’s where The Young Napoleon Project comes in.

This project isn’t about fixing a broken life.

It’s about continuing to shape a life that’s already worth living.

It’s an opportunity to become healthier, pursue my writing, become a better husband, and become a better father—not because I’m incomplete without those things, but because growth is part of living.

I’m still becoming.

That doesn’t mean I’m broken.

It simply means the painting isn’t finished yet.

Brooks and Joseph are growing up right before my eyes.

Before I know it, they’ll be teenagers.

Then adults.

They’ll continue changing long after they’ve left home.

But I have a feeling that whenever I look at them, I’ll see every version of them all at once.

The baby we brought home from the hospital.

The little boys running through the living room.

The young men they’ll someday become.

They’ll always be works in progress.

And they’ll always be masterpieces.

Maybe that’s what love really is.

Looking at someone who still has so much growing left to do…

…and seeing the masterpiece anyway.

And maybe we’ve been masterpieces all along too.

Why Ordinary Days Matter More Than Big Moments

When I look back on my life and the memories I’ve made, you might assume I remember the big moments.

And to an extent, you’d be right.

The trip to Hawaii when I was a senior in high school.

The many RV trips through the Southwest with my aunt and uncle.

The weddings I’ve attended.

The funerals.

Christmas mornings.

Birthdays.

Those moments deserve to be remembered.

But when I think about the memories that bring me the most joy, those aren’t the first ones that come to mind.

Instead, I think about drinking coffee with my grandparents around their dining room table.

Playing checkers with my grandpa on the back patio.

Making cookies with my grandma.

My uncle teaching me to body surf.

My dad coaching my baseball teams.

Going to work with my mom and getting to eat lunch in the cafeteria.

The ordinary moments that maybe weren’t so ordinary after all.

Because while the big moments deserve to be remembered, that’s not where life actually happens.

Over the last four weeks of writing these articles, I haven’t written much about extraordinary days.

I’ve written about looking for the robot at Lowe’s.

Walking the boys to the baseball fields.

Swimming lessons.

Coffee shop dates.

Playing cribbage with my dad.

Family hikes.

Papa Pandas.

Monday night softball.

None of those days started with the intention of creating a lifelong memory.

I was simply living my life.

Maybe that’s exactly why they’ll be remembered.

As parents, we’re constantly trying to create magical moments.

Family vacations.

Trips to the zoo.

Christmas mornings.

Birthday parties.

We spend months planning experiences that we hope our kids will remember forever.

But what if that’s not what they’ll remember most?

What if, years from now, they remember holding your hand on a walk?

Throwing rocks into a stream.

Getting ice cream after running errands, something I wrote about in When Errands Turn Into an Adventure.

Playing Catch at the neighborhood ball fields.

Reading one extra chapter before bed.

Doing push-ups with Dad before the cartoons came on, like I shared in Little Eyes Are Always Watching.

What if we’re working so hard to create extraordinary memories that we overlook the ordinary moments that are quietly becoming extraordinary to them?

While writing this post, I came across a wonderful article from The Artful Parent called “8 Everyday Moments Children Remember More Than Parents Realize.” It reminded me that children often attach meaning to the moments we barely notice—the conversations around the dinner table, bedtime stories, neighborhood walks, and all the little routines that quietly become part of their childhood.

That idea is also supported by research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child. Their work on “Serve and Return” explains that children grow through thousands of small, responsive interactions with the adults who care for them. Healthy relationships aren’t built during one incredible vacation. They’re built one ordinary moment at a time.

Honestly…

Wouldn’t that be great?

Because most of our lives aren’t extraordinary.

They’re busy.

We go to work while our kids go to school.

We come home to homework and housework.

Practices.

Games.

Laundry.

Dishes.

Bedtime.

And because life feels so busy, we convince ourselves that we need to escape it every once in a while to make memories.

But maybe we’ve been looking in the wrong place.

Maybe memories are made around the dinner table.

On walks around the neighborhood.

By reading one more story before bed.

By letting them stay at the creek five minutes longer.

By giving them a hug before school.

By buying a small treat while you’re already out running errands.

If that’s true, then we don’t have to wait for vacation to build a childhood they’ll remember.

We can do it today.

Tomorrow morning I’ll wake up, go through my morning routine, have breakfast, take Brooks to my mom’s house, and head to work.

After work we’ll probably have dinner.

I’ll do a few things around the house while a soccer game plays in the background.

Then I’ll help put Brooks to bed while Jillian puts Joseph down.

On paper…

That sounds like a completely ordinary day.

But what if Brooks decides to do push-ups with me again?

What if something funny happens over breakfast?

What if we spend dinner laughing about our day?

What if Brooks and I celebrate the same goal during the soccer game?

What if he reads more of the bedtime story to me than I read to him?

What if what began as an ordinary Tuesday quietly becomes one of the days he’ll remember years from now?

I’m done waiting for extraordinary moments.

Instead, I’m going to pay better attention to the ordinary ones.

Because life isn’t lived between vacations.

It’s lived on Tuesday nights.

And I have a feeling that’s where the memories are made.

Continue the Journey

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From My Reading List

Every once in a while I come across an article, book, or podcast that makes me stop and think. If today’s post resonated with you, you might enjoy these as well.

Little Eyes Are Always Watching

As part of my morning routine I do some push ups, sit ups, and squats. Normally I go back to the bedroom and do them after Jillian finishes getting ready, but the last couple of days I’ve been doing them in the living room after getting the boys up and turning on their morning cartoons.

Yesterday Brooks was sitting on the couch when I got down on the floor next to him to start my routine. He said, “Wait, Daddy,” and started climbing off the couch. I immediately thought he was going to jump on my back because usually when I get down on the ground it’s like Bruce Buffer has just announced the start of the next great UFC fight.

I told him, “Please don’t, Brooks. We aren’t wrestling this morning.”

He looked at me and said, “No… I was gonna do push ups with you.”

So he climbed down, got on the floor beside me, and started doing push ups. His form was pretty entertaining, but who am I to judge? Mine probably isn’t all that great either.

With push ups done, it was time for sit ups. Brooks tried with everything he had but just couldn’t quite get one. So he waited until I finished and asked, “What’s next?” Then we stood up and finished with squats side by side.

He didn’t do them with me this morning—maybe he was sore—but it made me think about all the little moments when those little eyes are watching you.

Like when I catch Joseph staring at me out of the corner of my eye at the dinner table. It’s a good reminder to eat my vegetables so he’ll at least try his. Or when I give Jillian a hug and a kiss and the boys come running from the other room to squeeze themselves between us. Or when another driver does something I don’t appreciate and, before I say anything out loud, I look in the rearview mirror and see the kids staring back at me.

They’re always watching.

Yesterday’s push ups reminded me of something I wrote a few days ago in Playing Catch. I hope Brooks doesn’t remember his batting average years from now. I hope he remembers the walks to the ball field and that Dad was always out there with him. Maybe these little moments work the same way. The push ups themselves won’t matter, but maybe the example will.

We spend so much time trying to teach our kids. We correct them when they misbehave. We remind them how things are supposed to be. We tell them to try harder when they’re struggling with sports, learning to read, or putting together a Lego set. We tell them to be kind to their brothers, to say hello when someone says hello to them, and to remember their “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.”

We hope they learn those lessons.

But what about the lessons we don’t even realize we’re teaching?

The ones they learn simply because they’re watching us.

I wrote on Father’s Day about the lessons my own dad taught me. When I really thought about it, most of those lessons didn’t come from speeches. They came from fishing trips, baseball games, summers working together, and watching the way he treated other people. Looking back, I learned far more from what he did than from what he said.

Maybe that’s what this project is really about.

On the surface, it’s about me getting healthier, becoming more organized, writing more, creating better habits, being more disciplined, and becoming the best husband and father I can be.

But maybe it isn’t about me at all.

Maybe by trying to improve my own life, I’m quietly showing my boys how they can live theirs.

Because they’re always watching.

Not just on the good days either. As I wrote in Some Days You Just Survive, they’re also watching how I respond when I’m frustrated, tired, impatient, or struggling. They don’t just see my successes. They see how I handle my failures too.

Brooks may or may not get down on the floor with me to do push ups again, and he may never remember that one morning when we exercised side by side. But hopefully he’ll remember that Dad tried to stay healthy.

If he sees me reading, writing, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, showing up for my family, and treating people with kindness, respect, and patience, maybe those things will become normal to him too.

Because little eyes are always watching.

And maybe the greatest gift we can give our children isn’t telling them how to live.

Maybe it’s simply showing them.

Related Posts

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like:

  • Playing Catch — Why the memories we make on the walk to the ball field matter more than the game itself.
  • Father’s Day — Looking back at the quiet lessons my own dad taught me simply by the way he lived.
  • Some Days You Just Survive — Because our children are watching how we handle the difficult days just as much as the good ones.

Softball On Monday Nights

Growing up, my dad played on a softball team called the Minute Men.

I remember going to the games, sitting on the bench with the guys, and running out to collect the bats after they hit. Some of those guys still play softball or over-the-line today, but that team itself has long since come and gone.

What hasn’t gone away are the friendships.

A few of those guys still get together for lunch every month or so. Whenever my dad comes home from one of those lunches, he tells me who showed up, where they went, and what everyone has been up to. Some of the guys have passed away. Others have moved. But the ones who are still around keep showing up.

Now I’m older and I play on my own softball team.

Ironically, we didn’t start as a softball team at all. More than ten years ago we were an indoor soccer team. Back then everything was competitive. There were arguments with referees, heated games, and an obsession with winning.

It’s not like that anymore.

Now we’re a co-ed team-pitch softball team playing in the lowest division on Monday nights.

Sometimes we win.

Usually we don’t.

In all the years we’ve been playing together, we’ve only won one championship.

But that’s not really why we’re there.

The team has changed over the years. People have come and gone. Most of us are married now. Most of us have kids. Sometimes those kids come to the games. Most of the time there isn’t anyone in the stands.

We show up thirty minutes early, take some swings in the batting cages, warm up, play for an hour, and then head back to our normal lives.

Some games are immediately after work when everyone is rushing to get there.

Other games don’t start until after the kids have gone to bed, and we’re all wishing we were already asleep too.

But we keep coming back.

Season after season.

I don’t know exactly why everyone else plays.

Maybe some miss their younger baseball days.

Maybe some enjoy the competition.

Maybe some like the exercise.

For me, it’s about the friendships.

It’s about maintaining relationships that have been part of my life for so long that I don’t want to watch them slowly disappear.

Sure, part of me still enjoys pretending I’m twelve years old and back on a baseball field.

But mostly it’s about the people.

When we first started playing together, none of us had the responsibilities we have now.

No spouses.

No kids.

No mortgages.

No school events, birthday parties, sports practices, work obligations, church meetings, home projects, or endless items on a to-do list.

Back then we were looking for something to do.

Now we have too much to do.

That’s why things like softball matter.

Not because they’re important on their own.

Because if they aren’t on the calendar, they get replaced by something else.

And when the time together disappears, the friendships slowly start to fade with it.

Not because they matter any less.

Simply because relationships require time.

The Minute Men went through the same thing.

Eventually life got busy. Bodies got older. The softball games stopped.

But now they’ve figured something out.

The lunches are on the calendar.

Each month somebody picks the restaurant.

Whoever can make it shows up.

Because that’s what keeps friendships alive.

Showing up.

I don’t know how long we’ll keep playing softball on Monday nights.

Hopefully long enough for my boys to come watch a few games.

But I do know that if softball ends, it will need to become something else.

A lunch.

A poker night.

A monthly dinner.

Something.

Because friendships don’t survive on memories alone.

They survive because people continue making time for each other.

I need those guys in my life.

And I hope I can be someone they need too.

So for now, I’ll keep showing up on Monday nights.

A Son And A Father

Yesterday was Father’s Day.

I slept in a little later than Jillian and the boys before coming out to find a fun gift on the table and a hand-drawn card from Brooks and Joseph. We spent the morning hiking at Mission Trails before stopping for coffee, pastries, and smoothies. It was a great start to the day.

Later, Jillian had to go into work for a bit, so it was Daddy Duty on Father’s Day. I made lunch, broke up a few sibling disputes, and hung out with the boys before Joseph went down for his nap. Then we headed to my parents’ house for a Father’s Day barbecue filled with family, soccer, and the usual chaos that comes with a bunch of cousins running around together.

Before we knew it, the day was over.

Father’s Day was simpler when I was a kid.

You were the one making the card.

You were the one running around with your cousins.

You were the one being reminded to wish your dad, your grandpa, and your uncles a happy Father’s Day.

Now things are different.

I’m still a son on Father’s Day, but I’m a father too.

One thing hasn’t changed, though, and that’s the opportunity to spend time with my dad.

That’s a gift not everyone gets, and it’s not something I take for granted.

My dad worked incredibly hard throughout his life to provide for our family. He helped with homework, coached my baseball teams, took us camping and fishing, and played catch in the front yard. Now I find myself doing many of those same things with my own boys—walking to the ball fields to practice, coaching tee-ball, taking Brooks to karate, and taking Joseph to swim lessons.

As a kid, I never really understood how much else he had going on.

As a dad, I do.

And it gives me a whole new level of appreciation for everything he did for us.

When I sit down and think about my memories of my dad, I realize most of them come with lessons attached.

Sitting on the shore of a lake with our fishing poles in the water taught me patience and how to appreciate silence.

Golf taught me that if you want to get better at something, you have to practice before it matters.

Baseball taught me that the things we do outside of work and responsibility should be fun or they aren’t worth doing.

Pocket knives taught me to be prepared.

The summers I spent working with him taught me work ethic.

And the conversations we had taught me honesty and integrity.

I wonder how many lessons I’m passing on to my own boys without even realizing it.

Maybe that’s how it works.

Maybe the most important lessons aren’t the ones we sit down and intentionally teach.

Maybe they’re the ones our children learn simply by spending time with us.

I’m still learning from my dad today.

But I’m also aware of how fortunate I am to be in this season of life.

I get to have my dad around while being a dad myself.

My boys get to spend time with their grandpa.

I get to look backward and remember being a kid with my dad while also watching my own kids make memories with him now.

That’s not something everyone gets to experience.

Yesterday there were moments when we celebrated me as a father.

There were moments when I was busy being a dad.

And there were moments when I got to be a son celebrating my own father.

I’m grateful for every one of them.

So to all the dads out there: appreciate the time with your kids.

And if you’re fortunate enough to still have your dad around, appreciate that time too.

One day you’ll realize what a gift it was to be both a son and a father at the same time.