Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m falling behind.
It’s that voice in the back of my head that whispers I’m not doing enough. The one that tells me if I just hit that all-too-comfortable reset button, I’d somehow find a way to do more.
The thing is…
I’m doing more now than I ever have before.
I’ve published a blog post for thirty-nine consecutive days, taken nearly half a million steps, been reading consistently, and spent meaningful time with my family, all while building this project in a way I’ve never been able to sustain before.
So what exactly am I behind on?
Well, I could make a list pretty easily.
I’m not working out as much as I hoped I would.
While the blog is thriving, the structure behind The Young Napoleon Project still feels unfinished.
I’m not spending as much time writing my book as I imagined.
There are always projects around the house waiting for attention.
And the list keeps growing.
Most nights I feel like I’m scrambling just to catch up before it’s time to go to bed.
So why do I feel so behind?
While researching the idea of falling behind, I came across an article from Verywell Mind about the psychology of feeling behind in life. One idea that resonated with me was that we often compare our present reality to an imagined timeline of where we think we “should” be. That struck me because I realized I wasn’t measuring my progress against where I started—I was measuring it against an ever-expanding vision of where I wanted to go.
Because the further I get into this project…
The bigger the project becomes.
At first, the goals were simple.
Get healthier.
Become more organized.
Be a better husband.
Be a better father.
Launch the blog.
But then the vision expanded.
Now I’m trying to write a novel.
Figure out how to grow the blog.
Build a social media presence.
Coach Little League again.
Volunteer at church.
Follow another San Diego State basketball season.
Every time I accomplish something, I discover something else worth pursuing.
Then I realized…
That’s not a project problem.
That’s a life problem.
There’s always another bill to pay.
Another room to organize.
Another home project.
Another responsibility at work.
Another dream waiting just beyond the one you finally achieved.
It’s something I explored in There Is Always One More Thing. The responsibilities never really disappear—they simply change shape as life moves forward.
The finish line doesn’t get closer.
It keeps moving.
Or maybe…
There was never a finish line at all.
Every night I go to bed carrying two thoughts that seem to contradict each other.
One says:
“I’m proud of what I accomplished today.”
The other whispers:
“You’re falling further behind.”
Maybe the lesson is that both feelings can exist at the same time.
I can be proud of the progress I’ve made while recognizing there is still more I want to do. It’s a realization that builds on A Masterpiece and a Work in Progress. We don’t have to choose between celebrating who we are today and continuing to grow into who we’re becoming.
I can celebrate today’s victories without pretending tomorrow won’t bring new responsibilities.
I’ll never finish everything.
I’ll probably never have an empty to-do list.
But that doesn’t mean I’m behind.
It simply means I’m living a life that’s still growing.
And maybe that’s exactly what The Young Napoleon Project was always supposed to be.
It was never meant to end.
It was never meant to become a completed checklist.
Like I wrote in A Life, Not a Collection of Parts, the project isn’t meant to consume my life. It’s meant to grow alongside it.
It was meant to be a lifelong pursuit of becoming healthier, wiser, more disciplined, more present, and more intentional.
I also came across an article from Big Think discussing the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen, or continuous improvement. One idea that resonated with me was that meaningful growth isn’t about reaching a final destination—it’s about committing to getting a little better over time. That feels much closer to what I want The Young Napoleon Project to become than a checklist I someday get to cross off.
Because if one day I truly became “caught up”…
There would be nothing left to dream about.
Nothing left to learn.
Nothing left to become.
When I really think about it, I still have weight to lose.
Books to write.
Projects to finish.
Habits to build.
Places to explore.
Memories to make with my family.
And I hope that list never disappears.
Because maybe I’m not falling behind at all.
Maybe I’m simply living in the messy middle.
And maybe that’s where all meaningful lives are lived.
Continue the Journey
- There Is Always One More Thing — Why the work is never really finished.
- A Life, Not a Collection of Parts — Learning that our goals should fit into our lives, not consume them.
- A Masterpiece and a Work in Progress — Why growth and worth are not the same thing.
Further Reading:
Verywell Mind — “How Do I Stop Feeling Like I’m Behind in Life?”
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-do-i-stop-feeling-like-im-behind-in-life-11729611
Big Think — “Kaizen: The Japanese Philosophy of Enduring Growth”
